| nibble nibble mousekin |
[29 Mar 2009|12:49pm] |
the opera was awesome on friday. i had so much fun on stage, probably my best performance of all time.
so i am going to try and top it today.
crossing my fingers.
i am actually going to be sad when this whole thing is over.
i know i complained like the entire time i was working on it because it was so difficult but i am going to miss it.
after tonight i have to buckle down and practice the shit out of my rep for my recital.
fuck.
NEW YORK CITY on wednesday. cannot wait.
i can however do without the two day bus trip. eesh.
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| there are no magic ropes to keep you here. |
[14 Mar 2009|11:20am] |
last night was the best night of all.
the show was great, we played well, and it felt good.
the silent years were fantastic. as was cotton jones. i'd have to say i liked page france better but maybe it's just because i don't know any cotton jones songs. meh.
but everybody was so nice and awesome.
the silent years came back to hang at my place and crashed. it was a fun time. i enjoy hanging out with talented musicians. it makes me happy.
they are leaving to go to st. louis today and i'm jealous. i wish i was playing in st. louis tonight instead of batavia but owell. whatevs.
hope tonight goes well.
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[11 Mar 2009|05:47pm] |
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i've been pooping like all day.
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| ugh. |
[11 Mar 2009|05:07am] |
so i have been planning this trip to europe and mark and i have been talking about how great it's going to be/going over the minute we see each other and what's going to happen repeatedly.
then he writes me today and is talking about how maybe i should cruise when his parents do so i won't ever have to be alone when he has rehearsals and shit. isn't that the worst idea ever? i like his parents but i don't even want to go on a cruise with my parents.
the actual problem here is that i've been kind of secretly freaking out about this whole thing, thinking how ridiculous i am for taking this trip/how ridiculous i am for dating someone who is going to be gone for 6 months.
and i am doing this because i am the biggest pussy wimp ever.
i would like to just enjoy myself and be happy with a boy that writes me love letters and puts up with my shit but i make it so difficult for myself.
i feel like anytime i like someone, it's always someone who comes with some type of huge obstacle.
first a republican, then a ghost.
i guess a republican is way worse but you get my point.
i am totally excited for the shows that moo and i are playing this weekend. i hope they are fun and people like us, i can't believe we are opening for the silent years. i love them.
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| it is lovely outside. let's take a walk. |
[05 Mar 2009|02:03pm] |
i am waiting to go to opera rehearsal. i am supposed to be off book today, and i think i pretty much am, except some of my entrances are fucking retahded and i can't get them. we will see.
after that shit i am going to come home, get high, and sit on my ass. i am not going to anything, i am not going to do any homework. i am just going to sit and enjoy my night. maybe read a little. i have been waiting to find some time to get back into big sur, and i could really go for some kerouac right now.
mark is still gone. it's been like 2 weeks. not bad, brynn. not bad. except i didn't talk to him yesterday and i really wanted to. it's so annoying to never be able to get ahold of him, like ever. i find myself thinking about him constantly and every time i walk out my front door i see his old house across the street and about 100 memories hit me and i want to sit on the ground and cry. i don't. well, one time i did but it was dark and i don't think anyone saw me. ha. i hate my life.
its really nice out but i opened some of my windows and now shit in my apartment is blowing around and getting knocked down. i am not shutting the windows though, fuck that.
i threw away your flowers today. the wind knocked them over and they were dead anyway. i think i'll buy myself new ones so i don't feel so bad. even though i can't afford it.
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| Oh how the sticks in the fire are crackling. |
[26 Feb 2009|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
SCHOOL IS RIDICULOUS.
i am barely surviving in the raging shit storm that is my education.
i don't know how i am supposed to be good at anything when i have so much going on.
and i am taking less credit hours than usual.. how is this possible?
wah wah wah.
i miss mark.
wah.
the opera is going to be awesome but it's the hardest thing i have ever had to do and my director is not very encouraging. which is fine because i need to suck it up and be better but, throw me a fucking bone here bro.
i am soooo looking forward to the show @ the house with the silent years. they are great.
p.s. i may be going to spain in may. i reeeeally hope that happens.
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| man oh man |
[11 Jan 2009|05:17pm] |
christmas break was fantastic. i am so sad to see it end. i have so much shit to do now and i'm in denial about it. bleh. i feel like it went by so fast, and i kind of forgot that i had to go back to school. but i am going to get a lot accomplished this semester, so, whatevs.
shows went well. moo and i had a good time playing. i really appreciate everyone coming out and supporting us. it means a lot. we got our myspace up, so that's a plus. going to start recording again. WOO HOO.
i want to get some sweet merch. i just don't know what yet. something cheap we can make ourselves. any ideas?
i want to buy a big button maker, that would be awesome.
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[04 Jan 2009|07:34pm] |
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HAHAHAHAHA.
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| the mousy girl screams violence! violence! |
[02 Jan 2009|03:46am] |
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good week.
moo and i won the contest. holler. x10
we played well on new years and i had a decent time. my first sober new years in like i don't know how long and i prefer it. weird. props to pones for coming out and watching us play.
i am still tired.
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| ashlee, please don't jump off a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom or forget your parachute. |
[30 Dec 2008|11:33am] |
i am so tired.
i am so sick of driving all over the chicagoland suburbs. like for reals.
i had a blast last night though.
moo and i went to miranda's to talk about our myspace and she made us delicious mexi food.
it was so great.
then we went to ashlee's and hung out for a bit. i love their apartment and i miss hanging out with sean.
then i headed back to st. charles @ like midnight to see monica and danny and we went to the boat where i preceded to win 26 dollars. i only played one game once and i rocked it.
russian roulette (i am awesome)
monica wanted to go to steak n shake after at like 4am, so we drove over there, but when we got there it was CLOSED?? what? closed? apparently steak n shake in elgin closes at 3am now? WTF?
now i am at moos waiting for him to get out of the shower so we can run through some songs for tonight! i hope it goes well.
but i am so tired.
in other news, i want christmas break to last forever. the thought of going back to school is terrifying.
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| i'm a storm i travel the world, detroy my enemies, my friends will follow me. |
[14 Dec 2008|12:04pm] |
shiiiiiiiiiiiit son. white trash bash 2008 was a blast. everyone looked fantastic except for the lame-os that didn't dress up, but the joke was on them.
i am so glad it's christmas break. i needed it soooo badly. and now i don't have a ton of shit to do, just a few things. i really need to go christmas shopping but i don't want to and i have no idea what to get people like always. bleh. i seriously just want to live at home sometimes because it's so fantastic to not have to grocery shop or clean or do any real life stuff. i just get to hang in a big sweet comfy house and watch t.v. having cable is really cool, i might look in to getting myself some, but probably not.
open mic battle on tuesday and i think moo and i will be done with our baby e.p. this week. we have to wrap it up because we won't have access to the studio anymore and i just want to have a fucking cd to hand people when they ask me for one.
it will include:
sounds before you
battle plans
tricks are for kicks
junk
and spitting bullets
hooray!
lauren you should make us a myspace page. pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.
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| this breeze blew in with a glitch in the tide disguised as storm free. |
[06 Dec 2008|11:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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gregory and the hawk |
] |
I will be done with everything that makes me want to die in 4 days. my finals will be over, i will have performed all that i have to perform, and i will be done with vocal juries which are currently the bane of my existence.
i absolutely cannot wait.
i have rehearsal at 1 with the orchestra. i am singing through my aria for sunday. we have a christmas concert tomorrow at 3 and i am singing a bach aria with the orchestra in the concert hall. i'm pretty pumped but also scared because this aria is crazy hard and i am always scared i am going to run out of air in the middle of one of my phrases. i should be ok though, i just hope it goes well and i can get a decent recording out of the deal.
my christmas break will consist of hanging out with people i never have enough time to hangout with i.e. lauren, bridget, alyssa, miranda, pones and the batavia crew, and various people i went to high school with. oh and my fam, of course, if my brother decides to call me every once in a while. fucker.
i am super excited. i have almost lost my shit multiple times in the last few weeks because i have been so stressed out and anxious. sometimes when i get ready to sing and i am nervous and my butt hurts/stomach, i sit and i wonder why the fuck i chose this for myself. then when i get on stage and rock it and everyone claps/ compliments me afterwards i remember. but it's seriously hard to feel good about this sometimes.
on another note, richie keo called me a couple days ago and asked me if i'd be interested in coming into his modeling agency/had i ever considered modeling? apparently he showed his boss some pictures of me and they want to meet me/need plus size models. holler. richie said that he can't promise me anything and that everyone on the board has to like me for them to ask me back but whatevs, it will be fun, might as well try. and i'm way fucking awesome so i don't know what the problem would be. part of me thinks that the last thing i need right now is a room full of people judging me but meh, i'll deal.
lauren, i really hope you are getting married in august and not next month. i've been super excited about this and i really hope you don't fuck it up. ha.
moo and i will be playing a decent amount of shows over the break and i'm pretty excited about that as well. i really just want to be done recording and get everything out to people so they can listen. i want it to sound good. it better god dammit.
that is the longest journal entry i've written in like 2 years. phew. i'm spent.
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[14 Nov 2008|08:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
i am sitting backstage in the concert hall waiting to go on to sing with the kishwaukee symphony. im bored and using the internet on my phone which is awesome. mike is visiting today and i love it. i seriously miss that kid too much. i hope this thing goes well. meh.
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| it takes a lion's share to get through the start. |
[04 Oct 2008|02:29pm] |
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music |
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Castles- Forest City Lovers |
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getting ready to sing at alex's recital. i am proud of him, i hope he does well and feels good about his voice. it's so hard to feel good about your voice.
i have opera performances next week and i'm a little weary of them mostly because my songs are long as f and i'm psyching myself out, thinking i will forget them.
i'm starting to wonder if i'm good enough for this. i think i could be but it's so much pressure, why do i do this to myself?
AH.
i want to play more shows. i want to play different places and write better songs.
i want a cookie.
i want a party.
me me me, i i i.
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| dear joe biden, |
[03 Oct 2008|12:14am] |
i like you. thanks for doing a good job tonight.
<3 brynn
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| holy crap. |
[08 Aug 2008|08:02am] |
I did a master class with jennifer larmore last night and it was amazing. she's only one of the most famous mezzo sopranos ever and she's gorgeous and insanely talented and sweet. she was so helpful and creative it was seriously one of the best things that has ever happened to me. we worked on a Brahms piece and by the end of the lesson it sounded amazing and the audience agreed.
WIN
i am singing "i dreamed a dream" from les mis for my disney audition tomorrow. i just had a lesson with Orna and it was fucking awesome. she made me run around for 2 minutes and then come in and sing, as if i was running from the police or just got my ass kicked. i sang the shit out of it and seriously got lost in the character. i was freaking out. Orna got goose bumps and told me if i didn't do it like that in the audition that i might as well not even go. so i guess i have to do it like that.
WIN
i have to sing "someday my prince will come" from snow white, at epcot on sunday. i'm pretty damned excited that i get to sing a solo, i really didn't think i'd get to.
WIN
happiness ensues.
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| V.o.i.c.experience |
[05 Aug 2008|01:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
So, i'm in Orlando and it's incredibly hott and i feel out of place. i mean i like opera and all, but i'm not super obsessed with it and i like singing other stuff better, and that is not the case for all these people.
but, it's fun, i have an awesome room mate and there are some pretty cool people around.
i have to perform at 4:30, and hopefully it goes well. i feel alright about it, i just kind of wish i was singing something a little more impressive. my aria is gorgeous but it's simple, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
bleh.
i mostly just want to go have a couple cocktails somewhere and not have to worry about being constantly in competition with 24 other people. though "it's not a competition, we are all here to learn and grow." aka big competition.
i paid $1700 for this shit and i'd rather be at home writing songs and making out with my boyfriend. and by i paid i mean my parents. WOW, I AM A HUGE BITCH.
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| And if you make it through the night, then i'll know if the notes turned out right. |
[13 May 2008|12:13pm] |
OH MY FUGGIN GOD. tomorrow will be the worst day and best day of my life. i have my education interview at 9am in which i am going to shit my pants. it's by far the scariest shit i've ever had to do. then i have my music theory final at 10 and i have to get a C on it or i fail forever, and i refuse to take that shit again, i will blow up the music building. (inappropriate)
after my theory exam i have my aural skills performance exam in which i need to get an 80% or i fail forever. I WILL KILL MYSELF.
FUCK ME.
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| the train sounds through your open window, i could hear you breathe. |
[07 May 2008|10:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
so as of yesterday i am in a relationship with robert cerny.
whoa.
it's really wierd mostly because i didn't see this coming at all, if you would've told me i'd be dating robert like two months ago, i'd laugh in your face.
he's probably the coolest person i've ever met. when i'm with him i feel like a better person. it's nice.
but i am terrified. i've been so hell bent on not being in a relationship for the last year, and now i am and i'm scared i am going to fuck everything up. i don't know why i do this to myself, it's like once i find someone that i can actually like i try and talk myself out of it. boo.
he's just a really good person and i want to be good for him. hopefully i can be.
it's amazing to actually feel something when he kisses me. i haven't felt anything in like a year.
he writes me beautiful songs and treats me like a real person.
win win.
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| did i remember to keep your beer as full as mine? |
[18 Jan 2008|10:29am] |
dude bro last night was a good time. i like hanging out with people i'm actually friends with. it's my favorite thing to do. but my apartment looks like hell, i suppose it's been worse.
i realized that i only played one round of bean and i'm kind of pissed. i should've continued to play so i could rape paul in the end, like i always do.
sorry paul, it's true. i am the beanstar.
i hate theory homework, it's really depressing when i realize that i've already forgotten everything i knew from last semester. i don't see how this is possible.
favorite part of last night: jill's B.I.G. shirt and gold chain.
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neighbor_brynn's journal